Arbuckle Home


Virginia sits, staring in the mirror, applying her makeup.

Take a seat

Take a ticket and join the queue

It’s good of us to meet you

But there’s lots of no one’s here to get through


And although we’re very grateful that you took the time to come

You see they’re very busy people here

And you look like all the others, dear

But we’ll keep your shots on file – best we can do


Thirty bucks!

They cost me thirty bucks!

A pictorial little label

That’s taken food from off my table


Will nothing make you notice me?

There’s lots more I can do

You see, I’m not so pure

I won’t show fear

And my legs go all the way to here

And if I open wide, you’ll sure enjoy the view


I wish I wanted to be no one

A no one happy to be nowhere

Why am I burdened with such talent and grace?

With a traffic stopping body

And a cute tear drop face


But no one seems to have noticed

No one cares or quite realises

I’m standing here among you

With a grin on my face

And a rack that’s screaming ‘hire me!’

Well, what else could you do?

You can leave me in the gutter

But I’ll climb out and join the queue


So, I’m up from my seat

Any answer will do, but ‘no’

And a sexual relation

Is a step toward emancipation

You can do your best to judge me

But there’s nothing I won’t do

A minor role ain't enough for me

I need some tinsel on my tree

But Virginia’s not a ride that’s free

The price I’ve set is now you’ll notice me


Some day I’m sure to be someone

A someone who knows simply everyone

They won’t believe that I’ve been hidden so long

From the same hymn sheet, singing my song of someone

A someone known by simply everyone


The girl from behind you

Is right in your face

With legs long as these there’s no one else in the race

For your attention


No longer no one

A bird that’s broken free and flown

Straight back into a gilded cage

And sits on her thrown

As someone’s someone




Take a seat

Take a ticket and pay your fee


For the greatest show on earth

The show that’s certain to be starring me

Arbuckle Home