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Delmont Takes the Stand  

The Courtroom is full to bursting with the jury, press and members of the public. There is a cacophony of excitement during the musical introduction, which is silenced by the Judge:

Judge Order in the courtroom!
Silence! Silence!
  Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to make it clear
That I won’t stand for hysteria
Public & Press

You’ve made it clear, never fear

Solo Press When is Fatty here?
Judge Though in this courtroom you may hear some revelations
That are crude and uncomfortable
Public & Press A bit of vice would be nice for a sacrifice
Judge Let me reassure you that the people of ‘Frisco
Only want to see their justice done
Abuckle enters the Courthouse. The cacophony resumes.
Judge However, gentlemen, keep down the volume
Or I’ll have to silence this courtroom
Brady Your Honour, I would like to say before the court
That it’s a pride and a privilege
Judge Oh, Mister Brady, I won’t stand for sycophants
Brady I come before you as a humble man
I hope some of your wisdom to decant
Judge Yes, I fear I wasn’t clear when I said sycophant
McNab If I may interject, details are circumspect
And my client is worthy of more respect
It’s nothing more than a show trial
Brady Ladies and gentlemen, a girl lies dead
The evidence points to a struggle whilst in bed
So someone somewhere has to answer
Keaton She was nothing but a chancer
Judge Mister Keaton, settle down now
Keaton Can’t you see they’ll frame him somehow?
Brady Please, Your Honour, this can’t continue
Someone has to control his retinue
Judge Mister Keaton, this Courtroom isn’t a joke
Brady Yes sir, I’m sorry for the way I spoke
Judge As for you two, this trial demands more respect
McNab Yes, Your Honour, you’re quite correct
Judge The eyes of the nation are focused on this room
And the law can’t be seen to fail
Brady We’re here to serve, Your Honour
Judge Yes justice will prevail!
Brady We’d like to call Miss Delmont
Judge Call Miss Delmont
It’s time we got to the facts
Clerk Yes, Sir, call the witness to the stand
Keaton Watch her closely
I wanna see how she acts
Clerk Place your hand upon this Bible
Swear to tell the truth ma’am
Keaton (to Sam Goldwyn) See I told you she is uncouth, Sam
Delmont Yes, my name’s Bambina Delmont
Clerk Thank you (she stumbles)
Delmont Sorry!
Brady I know just how difficult this is for you
Just tell the truth, that’s all that you can do
It’s very important that the court understand
Press Look at her tottering
The broad can hardly stand!
Brady How did you meet Virginia?
Delmont How could I forget when I first met her?
Never have I known a girl so pure
Known her all her life
Please don’t forget, Sir
Just how much Virginia meant to me

And even though she’s gone, it’s like she’s still here
Brady Take a moment if you need
Delmont Looking down from heaven on her friend
Brady There's no rush, my dear
Delmont Never thought a movie star could kill
Here is your man!
(indicating Arbuckle)
I saw him beat her senseless!
McNab Objection please, Your Honour!
Judge Brady, control her!
Brady Now please, Miss Delmont, though I know that you’re upset
I must insist you cooperate
Delmont Why of course my remorse ran away with me
Brady Now can you tell us please
Just how you came to end up at a party with Arbuckle
Delmont Well now, Sir, it’s all a blur, he just wanted her
Both of us went in for just a couple ‘a drinks, Sir
Never thought he wanted nothing more
Next thing I know, Fatty’s onto the poor dame
Don’t think he even knew her name
Next thing I know he’s got her by her little throat
And drags her off for some privacy
Brady And did you stop him or tell him to let her go?
Delmont Well, Mister Brady, I don’t know if you have met him
But he’s more than twice my size
Brady When a man has a plan there is no stopping him
Delmont I just froze right there
Couldn’t get off my chair
So I screamed out loud
Tried to alert the crowd
I ran right up to his doorway

Next thing I know I’m beating on that door
And hollering, screaming that "she is not some whore!"
And Fatty’s got her in the bedroom
And her screams increase in volume
I could hear him as he took her
Shouting, screaming as he shook her
Beat his door ‘til my hands were bleeding!
Begging, crying, yelling, pleading!
McNab Look here, none of this is evidence
Just lies!
Delmont I’m trying to remember
McNab She’s drunk!
The woman is delirious
Delmont It's a blur
It was way back in September
Brady Okay, I think we’ve heard quite enough from you, Miss Delmont
McNab Your Honour, may I interrupt
This woman’s quite corrupt
Brady Look here, she’s not the one on trial you know
McNab Sir, please, it’s nothing but a puppet show
Delmont makes as if to leave.
McNab Sit down!
No one said that you could go
I have some questions of my own
Judge Miss Delmont’s now your witness
Silence! Silence!
McNab Now please, Miss Delmont
If I may turn your attention to this party with Arbuckle
Delmont Well okay, as I say, we were led astray
McNab How long exactly have you known Miss Rappé?
Brady Sir, we’ve already covered this
Judge She wasn’t clear and I fear we must persevere
McNab Just to double check: You claim you knew her her whole life?
And now she’s gone you’re overcome with grief?
Delmont That’s right, Sir
McNab Maybe you might want to rephrase
You’d only known her for three days...
  (Gasps from the gallery)
Delmont There’s some confusion
I don’t feel I’m quite myself
I need a break and some time alone
Brady I protest, Sir
Our guest clearly needs a rest
McNab I put it to you that you’d never even met
Before you walked into that room
Delmont I’m bemused, quite confused
Can I be excused?
Brady Sir, I must demand the witness must leave the stand
Judge Mister Brady, I must know the reason why
You choose to hurry your witness?
McNab Ladies and gentlemen of this noble Jury
You’re quite entitled to feel a sense of fury
Every word you’ve heard this morning
Serves as nothing but a warning
Every lie this woman’s spoken
Every promise that she’s broken
Leads us to just one conclusion:
She is suffering from delusion!

Now Miss Delmont
You claim in witnessed the brawl?
Delmont That’s right
Brady We’ve been through all of this before
McNab Just one question:
How could you hear them at all?
Delmont They were right in front of me
McNab I don’t believe you were even in that room
But somewhere else instead
Delmont I don’t quite get your meaning?
McNab In someone else’s bed!
Delmont I find that quite demeaning!
McNab Who’s Lowell Sherman?
Brady There’s nothing here to defend
Delmont Look here, I’ve never heard the name before
McNab Just some stranger?
Delmont He’s nothing more than a friend
Brady Look, Your Honour, this must stop
I’ve raised a clear objection
McNab Did you just need some affection?
Delmont We were only just across the hallway
McNab Thank you!
Delmont How dare you!

I know what I saw with my own eyes
I saw him hurt her and I heard her cries
McNab Come now, Miss Delmont
You had all of this planned
You drunk so much whisky
I’m surprised that you could stand!
The courtroom erupts
Judge Order in the courtroom!
Silence! Silence!

It’s very clear to me that much of what we’ve heard
Is nothing more than a fairytale

McNab Yes, it’s clear it’s a smear on a massive scale
Judge And Mister Brady, I should hope your case is stronger
Than the picture you‘ve painted here
Brady Never fear, we’ll adhere
It’ll all be clear
Judge Let me make it clear that we, the people of 'Frisco
Bear a heavy burden with this case
However, no one will stand for disruption
I won’t to be swayed by corruption
Delmont That man is a killer though!
Keaton You’re in this for the dough!
Delmont You washed up long ago!
McNab Let it go!
Judge Order in the courtroom!
Silence! Silence!
Have the building cleared and take the prisoner below!

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